Bonus points to whomever can name the song spoof in the titlebar.
Isaac Newton was a smart guy. Everything from gravitational theorem to apple flight paths was understood inside of this man's funny-hat-wearing cranium. What does this have to do with winning a TV? I'm getting to that.
So most of you at this point know that I won a huge 50" plasma screen TV from the place I work for, Eagle Test Systems. The VP of Eagle, who is worth more than a couple million fake Oakley sunglasses, actually was the one who drew my name out of a bag with about 300 other names in it. From the time that I sloppily and drunkenly shook my VP's hand until a few weeks later when the thing actually got delivered, I refused to believe that I won SOMETHING, let alone a huge-ass TV. I've never won anything in my life.
I'm a strong purveyor in Newton's laws (see how I worked that back in from the intro, Visitor?). They have been proven to work time and time again. Some of his theories even work with other theories. Case in point is how his Law Of Universal Gravitation very closely resembles Coulomb's Law. While I can confidently say that I am nowhere near the genius level that these guys were at, I can confidently say that I have formed a theory that is based off of one of Newton's theories (stay with me here for ONE MORE paragraph, Mr./Mrs. website visitor).
Newton's third law states: "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction". If a force is exerted in one direction, there will be another force that will exert in the complete opposite direction. As an example, your car needs to move itself and your ass forward; a complicated series of explosions and rotational forces will overcome the mass that is your car and yourself and everything will propel forward. I feel that this is applicable in how your life in general will throw you good and bad moments, luck, and times. If something good happens to you (you had a good day at work) will be offset by something equally bad (you drop something on your foot and walk funny for a day or two). Case in point: I, after toiling away at at a class for countless hours, learn at the end that I didn't pass and I'll have to take it again (terrible). A few months later, I learn that I'm going to be standing up in the wedding of one of my best friends (awesome). The cards that your life deals you will always sum to zero.
"So, Rob, you handsome and smart guy, what does this all have to do with your goddamned TV that you won?" Like I said, I've never won anything in my life. And, if you're following along with my theory, this is something with which I was content: winning something great will only lead to something terrible happening. Since I've had this thing in my apartment, I've been watching everything LIFE SIZED and AMAZING. But, I've also been wondering when the Karma gods will come and say, "Okay, Rob, enough of you having fun with this TV that you won. Somehow, you slipped through our Luck Department and you won a fucking huge TV from a place you've only worked at for half a year. Don't worry, though. We've got something simply awful coming your way to compensate. Maybe your car gets totaled? Maybe one of your loved ones falls very ill? Me and the boys were actually betting on something related to your vision, but that might actually go to the Irony Department. Well, have fun!" This TV is bad news. I like what it's doing for me now, but what will it cause to happen to me in the near future? Maybe I'm just a Paranoid Android.
Anyways, gratuitous pics of said TV:
